Just Call Me Mabel

My birthday is quickly approaching, and it seems like the last couple of weeks have reminded me of that on a daily basis! I mean, I know it is my Jesus year (33!) but I really DON'T have a problem with my number. I have long since gotten used to the cashiers saying "yes ma'am" and being called a lady. Or didn't, until these things happened to me:

*A couple of weeks ago, I looked at my hands. REALLY looked at them, and I hardly recognized them! Now I have my friend Kelly paranoid as well, and she has recommended a microdermabrasion kit. I will have to try that!

*Last week I finally decided to get off my rear and go use the gym membership I have been paying for for awhile now. But seeing as though I am out of shape, I decided to start slow and attend a water aerobics class. That should have been my first clue, but they renamed it "aqua fit" so it had to be harder than your stereotypical grandma class, right? Wrong! The (couple of) walkers lining the edge of the pool should have been my second clue! But I rocked it anyway, in my skirted swimsuit like the rest of the ladies, and I actually felt pretty good about myself that I didn't have to stop and catch my breath and didn't break a sweat. I did take this class in college, so I knew ways to make it harder like doing three kicks to their every one. My third clue? There was actually a home health care nurse waiting for her charge! I kid you not.

*The icing on the massively-candle-laden cake? When I went for a facial a week ago, the twelve year old who is apparently old enough to have already gone through cosmetology school asked me a series of questions to assess my skin care ritual (i.e., sell products!) She asked me how I feel about my skin at this point, and I said, hmm, no zits, feeling pretty good, I guess about a 7. Then throughout the subsequent questions (what kind of sunscreen do you wear daily? none. what kind of toner do you use? none. ooooh, we need to do some extractions.) I felt my 7 dropping somewhere down to like a 3! But what's worse is that when I was leaving she recommended an exfloiant that would help with my existing sunspot. SUNSPOT?!?! Surely she is mistaken. I had lots of freckles as a child, and maybe they didn't teach the difference in her said cosmetology school? I think those are just freckles. I choose to believe they are.

So here we are. Would you not be paranoid after all of that? Does anyone have any wrinkle cream recommendations? Or sunspot remover?